ARTIST LETTER NO. 15
When the Old Story Finally Lets Go
On visibility, early shame, and learning to be seen again.
Hi there,
When I was six, I danced in front of my classmates.
I was out on the playground at recess, moving and swaying, out by a patch of tall trees.
They could all see me.
I don't remember what I did.
But I remember what they did.
The laughter. The looks.
The moment the air changed and I realized I had somehow done it wrong.
What my body learned: It's not safe to be fully seen in my expression.
You might not have a dance story. But you may have your own version — the presentation where someone smirked, the family member who laughed at a dream, the teacher who said "don't be so dramatic" when you were simply being yourself.
Different scenes. Same imprint:
Being fully expressed is dangerous.
Recently, I did deep work around that early moment. Not just remembering it — letting my body actually complete what it never finished.
What surprised me wasn't how painful it was.
It was how quickly my system reorganized once the loop closed.
And a new thought emerged:
I can be seen now, and nothing bad has to happen.
Not because the world became perfectly kind.
But because I stopped abandoning myself the moment I stepped into the light.
If you've been building skills you rarely show… crafting work only a handful ever see… saying you're ready for more while quietly dreading being looked at —
You're not broken. You're loyal.
Loyal to the part that promised, long ago, "I'll never put us in that position again."
The way through isn't to override it. It's to tell the truth about when it started, let your body respond now the way it couldn't then, and experiment with tiny acts of being seen from your current self — not your six-year-old self.
Over time, a new imprint forms:
When I'm expressed, I can stay with myself.
That changes everything.
With love,
Kristen
The Dance Alchemist