Artist Letter #14
When you realize you were never actually “behind”
Hi there,
I've been thinking a lot lately about the idea of being “behind.”
Behind where I thought I'd be by now.
Behind where other people seem to be.
Behind some invisible timeline I started measuring myself against years ago.
Maybe you know this feeling too.
It doesn't always show up as obvious comparison. Sometimes it sounds like:
“It's too late for me to start.”
“Other people already figured this out.”
“If I had really been meant for this, I would have done it sooner.”
Underneath all of these thoughts is a very old assumption:
There is one linear path, one correct timeline, and if I step off it, I've failed.
Lately, something in me has been questioning that.
Because here's what I keep noticing:
The very experiences I labeled as “detours” were where the deepest wisdom was forged. The years I thought were “wasted” gave me insight, compassion, and the depth I now bring to my work. The timing I judged as “late” was often the timing that actually taught me to hold what's asking to come through.
I'm feeling this a lot now as I prepare to return to the stage for the first time in seven years.
If I followed the old narrative, I would say: “I'm behind.”
But when I listen honestly, I can see something else:
The years “away” were not actually away. They were a descent inward — learning how trauma lives in the body, working with over a thousand clients in healing, creating Dance Alchemy, sitting with women who thought they were broken and watching them remember themselves.
All of that is coming with me when I step back onstage.
There is no world where the version of me from seven years ago could bring what I am bringing now.
And I'd assert that's true for you, too.
So, if you've been feeling behind — especially around your body, your creativity, or your relationship to movement — I want to offer this:
What if you are not behind at all?
What if you are right on time for the version of you that's ready to emerge now?
This is the belief at the heart of The Chance to Dance.
A 6-week journey for women who used to dance and miss it, always wanted to dance but never got the chance, or are tired of feeling like their bodies are problems to fix instead of homes to return to.
The next cohort begins Wednesday, July 8.
Learn more about The Chance to Dance →
And if in-person is what your body is craving: Making Space for the Transcendent — a Dance Alchemy evening at ZenSpace on Wednesday, July 29.
Wherever you are in your own timing:
You are not behind.
You are not late.
You are not disqualified.
You are exactly where you need to be to take the next true step.
With love,
Kristen
The Dance Alchemist
P.S. If you're feeling a tug but your mind is listing reasons why it's “too late,” feel free to hit reply and share what's coming up. Sometimes naming the story is enough to loosen it.