Artist Letter No. 12
I've Been Hiding
On emergence, and what becomes possible when we let ourselves be seen
Hi there,
I want to share with you something I only recently admitted to myself.
I've been hiding.
Not in any dramatic way. Not locked in a room or refusing to leave the house. But in the quieter way that happens when we pull back from being fully seen. When we create beautiful things but hesitate to share them. When we have something to offer but wait for someone else to ask first.
For me, it started in 2020. The world shut down, and somewhere along the way, so did I. What began as necessary protection became an unconscious habit. I stayed in. I kept things small. I told myself I was being careful, being patient, being wise.
But last week, in a moment of stillness, a phrase surfaced that surprised me:
I've been hiding.
Not because I'm small. Not because I have nothing to give. But because somewhere along the way, I learned that being seen wasn't safe.
Maybe you know this feeling too.
As women, it can be an all-too-common phenomenon.
The way we dim ourselves without realizing it. The way we wait for permission that never comes. The way we keep our gifts tucked away, telling ourselves the timing isn't right, the offer isn't ready, the world isn't asking.
Here is what I'm learning: the world rarely asks outright. It waits for us to emerge.
I have been practicing a new phrase lately. It came to me during a movement practice, in that space where the body speaks before the mind can interrupt:
I am ready to be seen.
I don't say it because I've figured everything out. I say it because I'm tired of hiding. Because the work I do matters. Because the women I'm meant to serve cannot find me if I stay invisible.
And because, honestly, I want to know what happens when I stop waiting and start showing up.
If you've been hiding too, I want you to know: you're not broken. You're not behind. You've been protecting yourself in the ways you knew how.
But maybe, like me, you're ready for something different. Maybe you're ready to be seen.
With love,
Kristen
The Dance Alchemist
P.S. Tomorrow night, June 17, I'm holding Sensing Synchronicities at ZenSpace in Hoboken. It's a Dance Alchemy evening devoted to noticing what's already arriving, and letting your body respond. If you're reading this in time and something stirs, there may still be a space for you. Reserve your spot →
And if something deeper is calling, The Chance to Dance begins July 8. A 6-week somatic journey for women ready to come home to their bodies. Learn more →